Beyond the Garden Gate

This week we light the final candle of our Advent wreath- the candle of PEACE The words Peace and Christmas seem like an Oxymoron, because even since the 1st Christmas was anything but peaceful, it was chaotic and messy. If you think about it Mary's world got turned upside down, and Joseph got thrown into a world-wind, then they had to travel to Bethlehem with Mary being pregnant on a donkey, only to get there and have no place to stay, and give birth in a dirty barn with no other place to lay the baby than on a manger filled with hay.  And in our present day version of Christmas is also filled with peace challenging moments like crazy drivers, filled parking lots, long lines at the stores, packed schedules, family gets little too close for comfort and dynamics get tense, money get tight and debt grows, sweet kids become ungrateful... In other words we get too frazzled and too distracted to remember WHAT this Holiday is all about and WHO we are actually celebrating. But Ma...

This week as we light the 3rd candle (pink) on our Advent Wreaths we get to ponder on Joy. Sometimes life can feel like a battle for joy because well life is hard and to be honest joy is not our natural reaction to the stresses we encounter in our every day to day. We are incredibly tempted to look for joy in the external like the celebrations, traditions, gifts and things rather than on God. And when we do this we fall victims to comparison and discontent takes over our hearts sending us into a dark spiral where we end up feeling void and blah, and it is incredibly hard to come out of, I am sure you know if you've ever been there like me. But the secret of joy is that it is a matter of focus, lets focus on Jesus, and not of worldly things. We are the gatekeepers of our heart, our minds, and our lives. So as we light this third candle let it burn away all that weighs us down, things that in the grand scheme of things don't really matter, worries, insecurities, and focus on all ...

This week we light the second purple candle in our wreaths representing: Faith As we enjoy all the Christmassy things like decorated trees, lights, cookies, and songs we prepare for the most important birthday of all         THE BIRTHDAY OF LOVE The day that God became man because He loved us. "In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent His only Son into the world, so that we may live through Him" 1John 4:9 While in Christmas we celebrate the birth of Jesus we must remind ourselves to not only focus on the tiny baby in the manager but keep the cross in our minds, because that is where the greatest act of love happened. That baby came for a specific, dark, and also beautiful reason. He was born to die. He came to live a perfect sinless life and die for those who live an imperfect and sinful life. God loves us so much that He chose to become one of us. An innocent needy baby dependent on those He created in order to c...

The 1st week of Advent we light a purple candle representing:  Christ is the light of the world and gift of Hope! We live in a time were we find ourselves searching for HOPE in our lives. Some of us look for it in money and the thought that having a bigger house, nicer car, fatter bank account, high end purses or lable clothes, amongst other things will give us the hope, peace, and stability we seek. Others look for it in polititians with their promises of a better life, while others find themselves looking for it in relationships, food, social media, shopping, or drugs to fill the void and emptiness that only God can fill.  What we fail to realize is that hope was born from a virgin tired from a long journey riding a donkey at 9 months pregnat, in a major surrounded by animals because they couldn't find a room, wrapped in clothes and laying on a bed of hay. That 1st Christmas thousands of years ago teaches us that hope came to our world even though it was not perfect and thin...

hello everyone, I know, a few weeks ago when I wrote I was taking a break from social media for the holidays I said I would keep the blog going but what I did not expect was the rush of emotions that would come at me as the Christmas season started. Some of you know by now that we had a baby born into heaven earlier this year and even though the first few weeks and months were hard I thought I was over the big emotions but with the Christmas season approaching, baby showers and pregnant friends the wave of grief has washed over me leaving me in a numb and less than joyful state.  So this year I am embracing this time and feelings to bring me closer to God and experience the Advent season with journaling and prayer. I thought it would be fun to share what I have written down in my journal each week as I light each candle of our wreath to inspire you to prepare your heart as well for the reason we celebrate this season. I do a reading and reflection each day in my journal but I won't...

With this I say good bye for the Holidays to social media but the blog will remain active I want evidence of a Holiday well lived and when I am 90 I will be celebrating : - not because I had a spotless house each day but the beautiful mess I made while living -it wont be because I looked perfect & my hair was beautifully done but because I rolled down the windows, felt the cold air in my face & sang out loud to christmas music -it wont be because I hustled and logged long hours of work but because I had countless hours laughing with friends & family -it wont be because I crossed off all my to do lists or did more in a day than a normal person could do in a week but because I took time to look at a leaf, stare at the stars, sipped hot cocoa, held my child's hand & slowly walked wit her intead of rushing around. -it won't be because o the degrees decorating my wall but because I followed my heart, passions, & the longing of my soul -it wont be because I worrie...

Thanksgiving is comming up and is a day where we are meant to focus on all the things we are grateful for and sometimes we end up showing up with a list of complaints rather than gratitudes. I know because have been on both sides of the coin.  When I struggle to be grateful it's not that I don't have anything to be grateful for but it's more like I have not diagnosed my heart for discontent, fear, anxiety and all the things that could be clouding my heart, weigh me down and keeping me from seing my blessings...in those moments I make it a habit to 1- I label and name it, what ever it is that is driving me to be ungrateful and clowding my vision. That way instead of letting it consume me once I name it I can ask God for help to see his goodness woven into the tapestry of my life. 2- I grab a journal and make a list of all my answered prayers, all that He has given me and it helps me refocus. 3- I start thanking God in advance for the blessings he Will be giving me instead of...

With #thanksgiving right around the corner I wanted to share with you this tip: focus on the 3 D of life... Delete, Delegate, or Delight... what is important is to enjoy your family, everyone being together and not be a stressed out basket case cranky and snappy (yup me yesterday... see I still struggle too)  DELETE: dont feel guilty that you decided to bake just 1 pie not 3 types of pies or that you are simplifying the holidays and not doing what your parents did or inlaws do... its ok  DELEGATE: hate to break it to you but you are not an island of your own or have to be super woman (yes I struggle with this too) you can ask people to bring sides, you can serve in paper plates, you can buy your mashed potatoes from a box, or buy the turkey already cooked, or splurge and hire someone to clean your house, have the kids wash the dishes... take some of the weight off your shoulders, its ok, your sanity is more important...  DELIGHT: yup there are some instanc...

We all have a painful story in our lives. Some of us might have a really painful story and some might have ones that in comparison are not as bad, some have one and some have many. But that’s beside the point, because no matter the degree of the experience the common thing is that we have all felt incredible pain, and sometimes resentment and anger from it. The thing is we have been shackled to that pain for I don’t know how many years, being prisoners of the experience, re-living the pain and anger every time those memories pop up or get triggered. But what I have learned is that we have the power to choose either to keep being a victim to the painful story or letting it empower us into becoming the heroes, and yes it is a choice.   I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, because I have been there believe it or not, I have many stories of many “degrees” of pain from miscarriages, to bullying, rejection, abuse, and more. What I realized is when the memory pops up I can eithe...

With the Holidays around the corner we will be very tempted to compare ourselves with others specially on social media, yes I know because I am already finding myself falling into that trap while looking at pretty pictures of houses decorated for holidays, amazing meals beautifully prepared, etc.  I need to remind myself: guess what? your life and path is not the same as other people's and what you see in social media is just a tiny well manicured glimpse into their lives.  We are all human, we all struggle, make mistakes, have bad days, kids flip out in really embarrassing ways,  houses look like tornadoes went through, and thats ok, its life... sometimes we forget that to make pretty magazine like pictures theres an army of people behind the scenes with special lighting and cameras  and makeup people -or- they only share the pictures where the angle was flattering and are standing in a way that hides the mama pouch (yup i know, I have done both).  ...

As a CBT practitioner I have learned that what we resist persists. We as humans don't like suffering but the only way out of the tunnel is through.  Yet we try to run from it, go around it, under it, over it... but not through it because it means we have to FEEL and we don't like being uncomfortable. But guess what? in the long run we end suffering soooo much more because by trying to avoid feeling our feelings and "suffering" we end up over eatting (yup I gained 10lbs in October because of it), over shopping, drinking, panic attacks, etc.  This totally resonated with me in RCIA yesterday because we talked about the Paschal Mysteries, the suffering-death-resurrection of Christ. And how if we live life fully we will run into suffering-death-resurrection  as well. We have to embrace "suffering" feeling our feelings and discomfort, "die to ourselves" by going through the tunnel, and putting ourselves at the foot of the cross in prayer so we ca...

I would like to invite you to join me in being *the one*. My mother always said "if you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all" well I disagree with that, I believe "you should be the person who always thinks of a kind thing to say". Your kind words may be something that person may carry in their heart for ever and it may even change their lives.  Go out of your way to think and say something kind to those people who look insecure, uncomfortable and left out; they are easy to spot, they are the ones who look sad or sometimes a little angy, when you do you will see their relief on face.  I think there is no job more important than that of being kind. BE THE ONE *be the one who thinks of a nice thing to say *be the one who shows up when no one else does  *be the one who extends and invite and welcomes someone from outside the circle *be the one who imitates Christ and follows his commandment to love one another (no matter if th ey behave...

"We often take for granted the very things that most deserve our gratitude" Cynthia Ozick Even if your life is far from perfect it is important to keep things in perspective, many people wish they had what you have.  As the holidays get near and the stresses arise its important to keep this in mind, specially for us mamas to focus more on gratitude. Instead of complaining about toys all over the floor or late night feedings, new born exhaustion? be grateful that you have kiddos that fill your home with love and joy, many women out there are praying to conceive; having to cook? Be grateful you can give your family a meal unlike many people in 3rd world countries; soooo much laundry? You have a healthy family you get to take care of and dress and running water and washing machines that do the work for you many people who don't have water; your work is stressful and draining? It provides with money to live a comfortable life, many people are struggling to find ...

Today Im preaching not only to me but to all those worry-ers out there, because I know I'm not alone 😉 The #holidays are around the corner and I keep finding myself worrying and focusing on the worst case scenario and i have to stop and remind myself of how much time I waste worrying about stuff that in the end doesn't even matter, and 99% of the time never actually happens. Worry is such a useless emotion, it doesn't solve anything and it won't keep things from happening, it only stops us from enjoying the good we have now. You guys, I know this and worry still shows up at my door, but now I don't worry nearly as much as I used to and it's because I have trained myself into a new way of being (still working at it). If something is not useful why engage in it? You can't run or hide from worry, beleive me I have tried lol the only way is to release your worry to God and train your mind to focus on something more useful... what emotion would be more use...

When I was a kid I was that one girl who would get in trouble for skipping mass at school (sorry parents, I did, not sure if you knew but now you do lol) I would hide in the bathroom with a few friends and one time I got expelled for one day for it. I didn't really care much to learn about my faith. Yes, I was baptized and we went to mass but I was always taught: not too much & not too little (ni muy muy ni tan tan) so I kind of just got by in a way. I did my first communion because that is what you do and confirmation in case I wanted to get married someday I had saved myself the hassle of having to go to classes later on, kind of a sad way to see it right? It wasn't until after I got married and had a little one that I started paying a bit more attention to my faith. I had always suffered from anxiety and a feeling of being lost, emptiness, lack of peace but it wasn't until that infamous Christmas 2014 where I literally died for 9 seconds that I started to see the w...

Not many people know this but earlier on this year we had baby #2 be born straight to heaven, little Maria Jose, it was a very sad and difficult time for me as a mother. Yes, I know miscarriages happen frequently and are "normal" but the pain as a mother emotionally still stings. I the hardest part has been when people just don't understand it and little things trigger you like for example the month of October is when the due date would have been, so naturally it is a sensitive time for me and us. What I was not expecting was the mixture of emotions I felt when my friend announced she was expecting baby #2, I was of course super happy for her but at the same time sent me in a abyss of sadness reminding me of what month it is. I believe God is in control and has a way of turning our pain and our sadness to something beautiful, so naturally I offer the pain up to God for the health of their little one but what I keep reminding myself is to "feel my feelings", ...

Hi everyone, as promised in my instagram account I will start to share my journals and some behind the scene pictures of our adventures... Its Spring in our beautiful area and with spring comes the best season... strawberry season! Seriously eatting a strawberry when it is in season is a glorious experience the juicy sweet mouth watering flavors. Eatting seasonally is seriously the best way to experience food, hopefully I have inspired you to go to the farmer's market and try them out. With that said my in laws have a huge strawberry patch and I love picking the berries, it's almost like a meditation... the fresh smells of soil, the sun in my face, the breeze in my hair, being fully in the moment (the iky slimy slugs i can do with out but its part if nature so i guess I'll keep sharing the berries lol)  this past week we ended up with a ridiculous amount of berries and my father in law asked me to bake some muffins (they are not very sweet) and since they were s...

Hi everyone, I know it has been a while since the last post, a few things happened in our life and I gave myself the time I needed and grace to fully focus (more on that later) The good news is I am back and with a powerful topic! A few weeks ago I was feeling completely depleted as a mom and wife and woman. I realized I had been putting myself last and was feeling the consequences! It made me think of how us mamas by nature we are nurturers, we want to take care of everyone and yet we forget to take care of us, or feel "guilty" doing so. But let me tell you mamas WE are the ones that keep the family going, they depend on us, our kids, home and hubbies count on us, and we can't fulfill the calling that God sent us if we feel empty, we feel stuck, we are running on fumes, and snapping at everyone in our path. Yes, believe it or not we are the most important ones and yet we tend to treat ourselves like we don't matter. We need to make US a priority so that we can s...

By Luz Voehl Today I realized how important is for our life and mental peace our choices on how to view things... Take me for example, today we woke up to a freezing morning (literally everything was frozen) in the 20F and I had the choice to be bitter about it and go straight to the hassle it was going to be to defrost the car, get the little one ready for school, the fight putting on gloves/hats/coats (all mamas of toddlers out there know what I am talking about) getting me all bundled up and to school on time. I had the choice of seeing  it as a terrible day, setting my day up for a terrible rest of the day, being bitter and in a bad mood, complaining and just reacting OR just enjoy it, find the beauty in today, focus on all the good things of the morning. So, I chose the second (a few years back I would have ended up bitter) but today I decided to enjoy the crisp fresh air, play dragon blowing smoke with my little one, wear a cute hat and gloves, and focus on all the beau...