Beyond the Garden Gate

  Lately I have been dealing with a massive trigger but then as I journaled I realized this year God has presented me with numerous triggers, challenges to face, and ways for me to grow not only as a person but closer to Him.This year I’ve been sent to my knees over and over, I have learned to pray and offer up my pain, work on my thoughts, learned what is to really sit with my feelings, let go of expectations, face and shine a light on my darkness, be resourceful & built a business, grew friendships, found joy in simplicity, let go of habits like alcohol that with such triggers could have sent me in a dark path, and I have shattered numerous glass ceilings.This year had a lot of literal and figurative blood, sweat and tears, it feels like and was actually cut open and stitched back together, and not only my skin but also my soul have become more resilient with the beautiful scars.I kept saying that this year was really hard but I am actually celebrating that it has been the best y

  Today I had a fun discussion with a friend over this meme (at the bottom) and I want to see what you guys think. I personally highly disagree with it because in my opinion we have the duty as parents to teach our kids how to be successful adults and that means sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do because you have a responsibility that has nothing to do with weather you feel like it or not. For example today as you guys know I have been super sick and I feel like laying around in my pjs sleeping off the cold and watching TV BUT I have a business to run, I have a customer’s anniversary flowers to make and deliver, it is my responsibility I can’t just say “I don’t feel like it, I need a mental health day” (even though I do feel like I need it) He is expecting flowers and for me to do a good job. It doesn’t mean our kid’s can’t take time off, we have weekends and planned time off, or if they are sick let them stay home, it’s not about asking them to be perfect either… it’

  Yesterday we decorated our gingerbread house and I was amazed at realizing how different the experience is from years past… Our experiences in life really depends on our thoughts. I have proven this to myself when making gingerbread houses. I used to dread this tradition because I wanted it all perfect, not to eat the candy because it was to decorate the house and would make her act crazy, not make too much of a mess, it “should be” like what ever was in my head and it ended up being different than that ideal in my head and I would end up frustrated, bitter, angry, end up snapping at people and making it a terrible time for everyone. Now I love it! because I know the thought/feeling/action connection (all feelings are created by what we are thinking and that results in us acting a certain way- best news ever- because we can be aware of our thoughts and stories we are telling ourselves and change them in order to feel what we want to feel intead) I decided on purpose to let go of thou

  “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.”  —Socrates Moving to Oregon and relaying on a Church pay budget was a big adjustment for our family, now with my flowers we are able to bring a bit more income thanks to my amazing customers, although it’s not much but it has helped us quite a bit. Being on a tight budget has taught us to rethink our spending habits and with that we have  realized that joy in the end is not found in our possessions.  We had to learn to cut back and make due with what we have. I realized how I had gotten into the habit of satisfying my discontent by simply spending money, didn’t like my clothes I bought new ones, I felt stuck or down so I numbed out shopping, etc. It was a tough habit to break but when I started to understand myself, my triggers, and why the lack of that thing was causing discontent or why I wanted that thing in particular and what whole in my life I thought having it was going to fill, is when I realized how I was using t