The meme that triggered me

 Today I had a fun discussion with a friend over this meme (at the bottom) and I want to see what you guys think.

I personally highly disagree with it because in my opinion we have the duty as parents to teach our kids how to be successful adults and that means sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to do because you have a responsibility that has nothing to do with weather you feel like it or not.

For example today as you guys know I have been super sick and I feel like laying around in my pjs sleeping off the cold and watching TV BUT I have a business to run, I have a customer’s anniversary flowers to make and deliver, it is my responsibility I can’t just say “I don’t feel like it, I need a mental health day” (even though I do feel like I need it) He is expecting flowers and for me to do a good job.

It doesn’t mean our kid’s can’t take time off, we have weekends and planned time off, or if they are sick let them stay home, it’s not about asking them to be perfect either… it’s about teaching them responsibility and cause/consequences: you don’t work, you don’t get paid, you don’t eat/ you don’t do what you are supposed to and bail/ you get in trouble/ you get fired, etc.

Our feelings are fleeting, they change, they come in waves, we choose our actions to hang on and entertain them or let them be and move on, they come from thoughts in our head: my little one doesn’t want to go to school I don’t say sure stay home and paint all day, I ask why? What is the story she’s telling herself? What is the real underlying issue? (In my case when I was little I would actually feel sick from the thought of school because there was bulling going on, one “mental health day” to stay home and do nothing was not going to solve it) I talk to her teach her how to handle what really is causing the feeling on the first place and then I remind her of all the fun she does have when she goes to school, and the possitives, etc.

I have noticed that if I let my feelings rule my life it becomes a mess like letting a toddler run my finances (I don’t feel like cooking again so we order take out and that’s $), food choices (hello carton of oreos I ate all by myself), baby wakes up at 3 am you certainly will not feel like getting out of bed but you can’t just yell back “I don’t feel like getting up”, in other words when we go with our feeling we end up in trouble and sometimes way worse. Same happens if I let the inner dictator loose I get stressed and bitter and annoyed. The answer is: be the loving mom (yes you have to mother yourself too) “I get that you really want that cookie but how about we eat our dinner first and have the cookie after dinner” go to school and after you can put your PJs on and paint all afternoon… I think that is the problem with our generation we go with our feelings too much.

I am curious what do you think? Remember please keep it kind and civil ðŸ¥°

Luz

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