Let’s talk a bit about contentment, spending, and emotional outsourcing

 “Contentment is natural wealth, luxury is artificial poverty.” —Socrates

Moving to Oregon and relaying on a Church pay budget was a big adjustment for our family, now with my flowers we are able to bring a bit more income thanks to my amazing customers, although it’s not much but it has helped us quite a bit.

Being on a tight budget has taught us to rethink our spending habits and with that we have realized that joy in the end is not found in our possessions. We had to learn to cut back and make due with what we have. I realized how I had gotten into the habit of satisfying my discontent by simply spending money, didn’t like my clothes I bought new ones, I felt stuck or down so I numbed out shopping, etc. It was a tough habit to break but when I started to understand myself, my triggers, and why the lack of that thing was causing discontent or why I wanted that thing in particular and what whole in my life I thought having it was going to fill, is when I realized how I was using things to satisfy a desire in my heart that no physical item can satisfy (spoiler alert thats the main reason why discontent always returns)

It has required that we learning how to be content and a constant commitment to gratitude, because well in life discontent will always rear its ugly head and become a great obstacle to fully thriving and having a joyful life and the only way to keep it at bay is by focusing on gratitude. Specially with social media, although if we have interactions with other people in our daily life it will happen there too, because it is easy to compare ourselves to others, our homes, our decor, our clothes, our vacations, etc. And we have all heard the expression “comparison is the thief of joy” I think there is no truer statement than that because when we compare it gives us fake goggles that make our things seem shabby, outdated, not good enough (the main reason why I don’t like watching home improvement shows) when in reality we forget those things are blessings we been gifted with and there are others out there desperately praying for them. When we are grateful it shifts our focus to all the good we have in our lives not all the things we lack. Yes, other people might have bigger budgets or are going deep into debt to live in such a beautiful way, we never really know the true story behind closed doors. We compare our worst to their best we see glimpses of, and by the way their life is never as perfect as your mind is making it out to be and the story you are telling yourself.

We have learned how important taking control of our attitude is and to be aware or “WHEN and THEN thinking” like “when I get (this thing-loose the weight, more money, fill in the blank) then I will be happy”. I saw it on myself, when I get a house with a yard and dog and cat I will be happy… that thought was bringing me and my relationship and my family so much misery because well God decided we were meant to live in a small apt and with a budget that does not realistically allow for that, and like Byron Katy says “when you argue with reality, you argue with God and you will loose 100% of the time”. So it was up to ME and only to me to shift my thinking, I had a choice: to keep arguing with reality and be miserable and make everyone else miserable in the process OR make the decision to be happy where I am and find the good in it … this has been the most important lesson I have EVER learned in my life: I have the choice and happiness is an inner thing, it is a decision I make, nothing outside of me can make me happy or unhappy because even if I got what I wanted the house of my dreams if I had not learned this lesson I would be just as miserable because I would still be outsourcing my emotions instead of taking responsibility for them myself. And now I love love love my little apt it makes me so happy, it’s cozy, easy to clean and maintain, even if we had the money I don’t know if I would even get the house anymore lol it was always up to me, not the thing, not anyone else but ME to find joy and be happy with my life.

If we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, and clothes to wear we should be rejoicing with gratitude. We must learn to be contempt and be joyful and grateful with what we have and learn to budget responsibly. Because in the end it’s the family, the people we surround ourselves with, the community, the good coworkers, etc. that actually matter not the money or the stuff and we kind of knew that that when we decided to move here and change our way of living for we just had a lot more learning to do…

So I would like to invite you (specially this Holiday Season) Let’s make our homes and lives a tribute to gratitude and that way we will appreciate our blessings much more.

Luz

Popular posts from this blog

our new obsession

Image
I know I wrote "our" new obsession but let's be honest for a minute it's more "my" new obsession... dried flower bookmarks! Yes, I'm back to my school aged arts and craft years and loving it... honestly anything that can keep mama from falling into a depression stage because it's the end of Summer in the Pacific North West and that means we live in Mordor.  What do you mean? Well California, Oregon, and Washington catch on fire. This means we live in a depressing dreary constant gray existence, surrounded by smoke, we sometimes pretend is a hot fog that smells and play Christmas music. Because it's the Pacific North West and winter is gray,  another dreary gray existance but less depressing? The jury is still out on that but at least you can feel the cool crisp air and fill your lungs of pine beautiful clean air. We have not seen the sun in days and when we do is a Red ball, the moon was so eerie red last night kind of bea
Read more

Triumph Muffins

Image
Simple pleasures are the last healthy refuge in a complex world. Oscar Wilde I try to infuse my life with beauty and simple pleasures as much as I can.  Like my previous post where I talked about flowers by my kitchen sink add a touch of beauty and bring pleasure to a mundane and sometimes dreaded task. I think the world is just to full of yuck, hate, separation, stress, worries, pain, etc. And our home should be a refuge. A place where we can rest, breathe, find solace. When we are at home our souls should be at rest, or as much as possible, I don't think we'll ever be at rest until we're united with God like St Augustine writes in his confessions  “ You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You". But you get my point. One of the ways I like to infuse my home with beauty and make it comfortable to be in is by trying to always have baked goods for snacks.  Baking is something I find infused with pleasure from the moment I put
Read more

Rose Cake and some things I have been pondering lately...

Image
Sunday was Mother's Day, oh what a complicated day.  So many women experience an incredible amount of emotions on that one day... the loss of a child, infertility, loss of a mother, oh so many things and triggers that can come up in this one day. My prayers go out to all women on this day, I've known the pain of infertility, of miscarriage, and of not having my own mother on this day. It can also bring up the attack society places on moms. The feeling of not enough, of seing motherhood as a waste of your talents, time, and the saddest one it being a burden.  But it is not, How magnificent it is that as women we get the gift to work hand in hand with God in creating and raising inmortal souls! As a mother your body has at some point held two souls inside of it at one time (or 3 if you had twins!) What a gift! Knowing that and how God gave you those little souls because He thinks you are the best person to raise them, with your shortcomings and flaws, with your gifts, and how we
Read more