How will you use your story?



We all have a painful story in our lives. Some of us might have a really painful story and some might have ones that in comparison are not as bad, some have one and some have many. But that’s beside the point, because no matter the degree of the experience the common thing is that we have all felt incredible pain, and sometimes resentment and anger from it.

The thing is we have been shackled to that pain for I don’t know how many years, being prisoners of the experience, re-living the pain and anger every time those memories pop up or get triggered. But what I have learned is that we have the power to choose either to keep being a victim to the painful story or letting it empower us into becoming the heroes, and yes it is a choice.

 I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, because I have been there believe it or not, I have many stories of many “degrees” of pain from miscarriages, to bullying, rejection, abuse, and more. What I realized is when the memory pops up I can either focus on the negative of it, re-living the pain, drowning in resentment, getting angry about it and at the people, looking for ways it could have been different or things be done differently, and letting that past story affect my relationships now. Or I could use that experience to empower me, focusing on the positive aspects of it, finding a purpose for that pain and letting it guide me to find my path in life.

The only way we can release ourselves is by CHOOSING- choosing to forgive, choosing to focus on the good, choosing to not feed the negative, choosing to not be a victim, choosing to be a hero, choosing to turn a painful story into an empowering one.

Again I know firsthand some things are really hard to forgive and some we consider unforgivable, but the things is the more we choose to hang on the more it will hurt us. I learned to lay it at the foot of the cross and giving it to God (sometimes over and over and over again), because if not, it was going to keep eating at my soul, getting me physically ill, and affecting my relationships.  And Just because you forgive doesn’t mean you believe that happened was ok, it is till wrong, it is still painful.

The memories will still be there, I wish I could tell you the memories magically disappear or you won’t be triggered, you will, and that is ok. It’s ok to feel pain, anger, resentment, etc. when those memories pop up, we are human we feel. Allow yourself to FEEL and then CHOOSE to instead of focusing on hanging on to it and feeding the bad and the negative from it to look for the positive, the good that came out of the experience. For example I could wallow on how painful my story was and look for all the things that so and so did making me resentful or all the things that could have been handled differently or I can look for the positives, the good things they did and what was the good that came out of that very painful experience like now I am wiser, stronger, I knowledgeable. And I can see how God is using that painful story for a greater good by me choosing not to be a victim to my story any longer but instead use it to empower me, I can be a guiding light for people, especially women who have gone through the same I have, I can show them the support they lack and I can be an inspiration for others.

How about you? How will you use your story? Remember you have the power to turn your story into an empowering one that inspires and helps others or you can let it consume and break you.

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