What really IS Homemaking?!
I recently started the series on Homemaking but I should have probably explained WHAT is homemaking before I started…
A big truth to keep in mind before we begin is that a home is not a house is a space you create for you and loved ones to thrive in.
I truly believe that homemaking is more than the typical images that comes to mind of a woman chained to the vacuun and baking apple pies or the other image of a woman doing nothing at home. In my case I have had to fight backlash from both points of view. I remembered when I first decided to stay home after giving birth my sister got so upset because I was going to be a homemaker, not reach my full potential, but be like a pretty flower vase at home (what?! Lol) then other people thought I would be a slave in the home cooking and cleaning, again not reaching my full potential (I see a pattern, do you? fascinating I will have to talk about that in a future post).
Yes, now a days we have the luxury and blessing that we get to work, if that is what God is calling us to do, and some get to stay home. We are free to make the choice and hopefully follow the path set before us by God, even if it goes against what culture and others push for.
But what people fail to realize is that the thing that won’t change whether we work part time, full time, have flexible hours bbecause you own your own business like me, or stay home, is that homemaking is still part of our calling as women, because we have been gifted that magic touch, that quality in our feminine nature to NURTURE. I’m sure you understand what I am talking about. Whether we want to accept it or not, we as women set the tone of the home. I do believe that men can also benefit from some of my tips just applying them into their masculine nature.
When it comes to homemaking it is important to realize like I did, is that there are 3 main elements that are necessary to the art of Homemaking and those are: the practical, the relationship, and the personal side. And it is good to practice these and master them whether you live on your own, with your parents, or roommates or have your own family or planning for one some day (just adapt the main points to what your path in life is at the moment).
I have noticed with myself some of these parts of homemaking come more naturally to me than others, but all of these are essential in creating a peaceful and joyful atmosphere in my home.
Lets begin…
1st is the practical side of homemaking
Ah yes, this is what we all picture when the word homemaking is spoken! The cleaning, cooking, and taking care of kids … lets face it, IT IS indeed a main part of homemaking and it is because it keeps the home “running smoothly.”
I quickly realized even though I grew up with someone cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the home for me when I lived alone no one was going to pop up and do it for me. It was chaos! It was not pretty, and even now if I not pay much attention to this part I find myself starting to loose things like where did those shoes ran off to? Or my car keys? Or drowning in junk mail…
That is when I learned and are reminded that a lack of organization and cleanliness can lead to home-destroying behaviours and outcomes. That is when the sink piled high with dishes and the constant question “where is…?” can become a real nightmare. And it can start affecting you, and relationships -your spouse, family, and friends. It is not healthy or comfortable to live or visit a home is dirty, messy, and iky.
Practical homemaking is #1 because it inserts order in the chaos.
If you are having trouble with this you can always come to me or ask a friend that has this step down (or at least a few steps ahead of you) and invite for coffee and pick her brain.
2nd is the relationship side of homemaking
This one if you are married is one of the most important ones, at least in my opinion, because it has to do with your relationship with your spouse. (If you have room mates or live with people it helps to apply some of this points)
Don’t forget you are building a home and by this I mean you have to have a good foundation and this starts by you being willing to see your flaws and work on them instead of focusing on those of your significant other but making it a priority to foster connection.
It is keeping home-destroying behaviors at bay such as the obvious alcoholism, addictions (to drugs, video games, work, social media, etc) infidelity, a lack of compassion, pornography, you know… And the not so obvoius like subtle sarcasm, passive aggression, not carving out time for date-nights, letting others poison your relationship with their words, criticizing your significant other, or forgetting about daily hugs and kisses and the little details.
3nd is the personal side of homemaking
This one is about meeting your OWN needs. Whether they are physically, mentally, or spiritually. How are your heart and soul doing?
I realized when I became a mom how taking care of myself helped me approach the responsabilities of my homemaking with peace. You need to make your needs a priority and it might come with some sacrifice like spending money for counceling, time to work out, spending a bit on a style and beauty upgrade, or like in my case it meant getting flowers for our home. I loved having flowers in my home, even in college, but when we moved to be close to family and that meant cutting our income sigsignificantly and having a tight budget, I thought flowers were a luxury and not worth spending money on until well into my post partum blah that I realized they are more important for my mental and emotional health than I realized before… so now I know they are a necessity for me.
With love,
Luz
