The Homemaker’s Biggest Obligation

By now is no surprise that I consider a homemaker not a stay at home wife/mom but the woman with her feminine qualities as well as the man with his masculine ones work together to build the foundation of the family- the home. And no you don’t have to be married or a woman in order to start learning and applying my homemakers principles- practical, relational, personal- because they will come in handy even if you live at home, college, with roommate’s, alone, or with your significant other.

Ok, today I wanted to touch bases on something I had to learn, and I am still learning. Lets be honest this one is one of the hardest ones for me to apply and yet is the most important one… to be frugal… is the Homemaker’s biggest obligation. Let me explain how and why I think this:

Why do I call it an obligation because it is a duty and a commitment, yes I know it’s not fun (at all) yet again obligations are not normally fun. They are part of being adults, we get our freedom yet we have to do things we don’t like or want to do.

Even if we are thriving financially we still have the obligation to be frugal, and yes that concept varies from home to home since we all have different salaries and lifestyles. But even if you are doing well now chances are that could change in the future, hard times might and will be ahead (unexpected illnesses, loss of a job, etc). I don’t know of anyone who hasn’t faced some sort of struggle or hardship, life really is made of peaks and valleys. Since hardship will come it is better to be prepared so we can handle it more calmly and gracefully.

I am not saying you need to be a penny pincher or stingy. It is not a punishment but more of a mindset change, it can be a beutiful and fulfilling way of life once you get used to it. It’s about making due, you don’t need the latest and greatest to feel like life is great.

I will have more advise on this later but the main ones I want to start with is to keep in mind your line of luxury and re-define what normal is.

What do I mean by line of luxury? Well luxuries are things that are not for every day, things need to remain a special occation or they won’t be special anymore. For example for us that is eatting out at restaurants, now that our budget is smaller it is something we save for and cherish, they are special.

But you also have to keep in mind those little luxuries that make your soul better and if you don’t have you would feel like life is so hard and sucks. That for me is having fresh flowers in the home, I can do without specialty coffees and they are what I consider now a luxury (special occation) but if I don’t have flowers I feel it affect my mental and emotional well being. For you that might be a specialty coffee, a gym with childcare, a cleaning lady, etc it just depends.

Just start to think of using your money for what is actually important and saving the rest. Change your perspective on the non essential items, What can you do without? What do you actually really need? 10 pairs of cute shoes for your little one? Yes they are cute but 3 would be more than enough or clothes or toys or washi tape (see my struggle lol) if something ripped or stuffy broke fix it don’t go buy a new one. Remind yourself what do you want to save for? Have a strategy based on your values like for us our main values are faith and family we don’t spend money on extra curricular activities (this one is hard because you feel like you have to put your kid on something or they will miss out since everyone else is doing it) but we will use it on a trip instead where we would be spending time with family or we use it to pay for a good private school with a strong faith and moral foundation.

Redefine “normal”. What is normal for your family? Reflect on your life then and now. How are you living now? What is your financial situation? Is the way you are living currently sustainable? Are you able to set aside some money for the future? We had to do this when we moved from Florida to our little town to be close to family and went to being a one income family (that was significantly smaller than before). That move was and is totally worth it in every sense. Yet we still had to answer this questions, create a new normal with a new strategy, adapt our budget and spending habits, start doing mental math, etc. It has not been easy: we stopped eatting out as much, don’t normally buy wine for the housr anymore, I do my nails at home, don’t have a cleaning lady, don’t pay for cable or streaming services, etc. But in the end we are much happier and healthier as a result: we read more instead of numing out on the tv, we don’t drink as much or eat as much junk, we control our sodium and fat intake (restaurant food), my litte one sees what small acts of service and love looks like by me cleaning the home (eeeek toilets), etc. We have learned and are still learning how to live a comfortable life within our means by by figuring out our new line of luxury and adapt with new strategies.

Learn to approach life with frugality not cheapness. Spend in the best quality items you can afford, make wise purchases, have a budget and strategy, figure out what are your essential and non-essentials and what you can and do without, be creative. Because I have learned a 1$ here and there doesn’t seem like much but it does make a difference! Don’t be cheap but be aware of those 1$ here and there so you can save and still be generous.

There are some things in life that are worth spending money on and other things that maybe are not.

Here are some ideas of how we are frugal, there are many more, but the main ones are

*The first and most important is to be grateful for what we do have!

* We make my coffee at home. When we get a specially coffee it is a treat.

* Buy generic if there is no quality difference (I see this with my yogurt I love so I stick to the name brand even though if 3$ more!)

* I use a seasonal capsule wardrobe and shop my closset (I try to be disciplined when shopping I get it only if I need it, will use it many times,love it, fits beautifully, and makes me feel amazing)

*Cooking from scratch and having a meal plan keeps me from falling into the fast food trap. Also freezing left overs comes in handy when pressed for time like our friends pasta casserole gave us 3 extra meals.

*Shop my pantry, freezer, and fridge. Get creative cooking with what you have at home. This gets my creative juices flowing by making up new recipes.

*Choose a fulfilling hobby that way it keeps your soul satisfied and away from midlessly wwalking through stores. Knit, sew, paint, bake, woodworker, play an instrument, read, writing, learn a language, etc. I know this one is tricky because you might have to buy materials or pay for that cooking class but in the end it’s better for your soul, heart, mind, and wallet (as long as you keep the shopping with prudence) besides it will also keep you from watching so much tv!

*Exercise at home or go for a walk out in nature… when I stopped to think about it and journaled asking myself “WHY” I wanted a gym membership I realized in the end I didn’t really like my reason so don’t need to spend that money.

*I do my nails and beauty at home (except my haircuts)

*Re-use and fix things when broken. When it comes to clothes I do beleive a lady should never wear ripped clothes but I exercise my common sense and fix your clothes with pretty lace patches specially if its a hang out at grammas rolling around in the garden type of clothes. I super glued the velcro on your shoes when it came off instead of buying new shoes, sow up all your stuffies, turned a dress I loved but didn’t fit me anymore (pregnancy changes the body) into a skirt I love to wear, etc. But if a happy meal toy (we got Mc Donalds as a special occation for a trip) broke, unless you absolutely love it, it will be thrown out. But that Elsa looking dress that your cousin passed down to you that had a few rips you better believe I sew it right away and it brought you so much joy and it saved us the ridiculous price they cost (important note: trust me when you are a mom you will realize how much you appreciate hand me downs and how much they help)

Btw you remember that amazing toolI got to take the peeling off the sweaters? It made them look like new and I didn’t have to get new sweaters or pretty silk and lace PJs. I realized as I walked through a store that I love my fall stuff why was I looking to buy new instead of figurng out how to fix them and make them look nice again. You were surprised how some of my sweaters are from 2003 when I was in highschool and lace shirt from 2007 college… that shows quality and the importance of taking care of the blessings God has given us. No, I did not buy a new one because they were old and looking dishevelled but got a tool that cost like $12 that in the end saved me hundreds of dollars just in the 3 silk and lace PJs.

This article on Blessed Poverty heps keep things in perspective when I feel bad you don’t have the best of the best and all the stuff your friends have, God knew this and we see it with Jesus and the Holy family.

I hope this helped you my little one, I will be talking more about it in future letters!

With love,

Luz

Popular posts from this blog

our new obsession

Image
I know I wrote "our" new obsession but let's be honest for a minute it's more "my" new obsession... dried flower bookmarks! Yes, I'm back to my school aged arts and craft years and loving it... honestly anything that can keep mama from falling into a depression stage because it's the end of Summer in the Pacific North West and that means we live in Mordor.  What do you mean? Well California, Oregon, and Washington catch on fire. This means we live in a depressing dreary constant gray existence, surrounded by smoke, we sometimes pretend is a hot fog that smells and play Christmas music. Because it's the Pacific North West and winter is gray,  another dreary gray existance but less depressing? The jury is still out on that but at least you can feel the cool crisp air and fill your lungs of pine beautiful clean air. We have not seen the sun in days and when we do is a Red ball, the moon was so eerie red last night kind of bea
Read more

Triumph Muffins

Image
Simple pleasures are the last healthy refuge in a complex world. Oscar Wilde I try to infuse my life with beauty and simple pleasures as much as I can.  Like my previous post where I talked about flowers by my kitchen sink add a touch of beauty and bring pleasure to a mundane and sometimes dreaded task. I think the world is just to full of yuck, hate, separation, stress, worries, pain, etc. And our home should be a refuge. A place where we can rest, breathe, find solace. When we are at home our souls should be at rest, or as much as possible, I don't think we'll ever be at rest until we're united with God like St Augustine writes in his confessions  “ You have made us for yourself, O Lord, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You". But you get my point. One of the ways I like to infuse my home with beauty and make it comfortable to be in is by trying to always have baked goods for snacks.  Baking is something I find infused with pleasure from the moment I put
Read more

Rose Cake and some things I have been pondering lately...

Image
Sunday was Mother's Day, oh what a complicated day.  So many women experience an incredible amount of emotions on that one day... the loss of a child, infertility, loss of a mother, oh so many things and triggers that can come up in this one day. My prayers go out to all women on this day, I've known the pain of infertility, of miscarriage, and of not having my own mother on this day. It can also bring up the attack society places on moms. The feeling of not enough, of seing motherhood as a waste of your talents, time, and the saddest one it being a burden.  But it is not, How magnificent it is that as women we get the gift to work hand in hand with God in creating and raising inmortal souls! As a mother your body has at some point held two souls inside of it at one time (or 3 if you had twins!) What a gift! Knowing that and how God gave you those little souls because He thinks you are the best person to raise them, with your shortcomings and flaws, with your gifts, and how we
Read more