The most challenging job we will ever have…

 Parenting is deffinitelly the most challenging job we will ever have. Kids are not born with manuals and we rely on our own history as a way to navigate the murky waters because we don’t know what we are doing and I would like to beleive we are honestly doing the best we can.

But a lot of times we fail to realize that we can ask the one who created the little person in the first place for help and guidance, we need to rely on God.

Sometimes our humanness tends to get in the way and we can loose track of what is really important. I fight with that every day, it’s only notmal. Then I remember I was given this kid because God knew I was the perfect mother for her and she will help me grow and evolve by being be proactive in learning new things so I can handle each stage (hi potty training, tantrums, and awkward conversations), having to sacrifice my time and sometimes sleep, getting on my knees to surrender control and relaying on a power grater than mine, to die to myself and my desires (traveling, time alone, going out with friends, etc) out of love and for something greater (that is why as Catholics we look up at the crucifixes, they are a reminder of our need to die to ourselves that true love requires sacrifice.)

When I look back to when I was a kid I remember the times spent WITH my parents were the most meaningful to me, the times we played uno and bingo, the times we traveled together, the times at the beach or museums, eating together (specially that fun pizza place with stickers on the straw), feeding the birds and ducks, going to the Imax, etc.

I always try to remember that with my little one. The things that matter and she will remember are the things she did with US. Like the times we cooked together and baked (and will laugh at when mami was cracking eggs for blueberry muffins and one was a hard boiled egg- what was is doing in the carton of eggs? Best guess is pre-coffeed tired mama put it there), the times I sat on the floor and played with her (my least favorite thing but I die to myself and play pretend horses) when we built puzzles and play board games after dinner, when we were by her side the times she was sick and slept on the floor next to her bed, dance parties in the livingroom, going to the park, feeding the ducks, exploring tide pools and poking anemonies, running by the waves, etc.

It hit me yesterday when I was making dinner and I sat to color with her as the chicken cooked… she was so happy and not only that she started talking about all the things that were bothering her, fun things she did at school, her friends, etc. I realized she doesn’t say “I had a hard day” instead she says “want to sit and play with me?” Because once I did is when she oppened up and it gave me the opportunity to water her heart and soul by letting her know her fears and worries are ok, we love her no matter what, good grades are good but what really matters is she is trying and learning, mistakes are how we learn, how to talk to God and practice surrender, that we are proud of her and the kind, caring, and loving person she is becomming.

That is when I thought to myself THIS is what matters most to her, not the toys I get her or the extra curricular activities, it is having mami and daddy to sit with her, not only join but want to be part of her world, having us be present and listen to all she has to say including the turttles in the craft project shes doing so she knows she can come to us no matter what, it is to hear/guide/nurture/play, it is seing our faces in the school pick ups and shows… it’s the memories.

I don’t have all the parenting answers, none of us do, only God. I know I am making the effort to learn and do the best I can. Maybe it’s enough and what she needs, only time will tell. All I know is there is a BIG chance I’ll probably drop the ball a few times along the way (like I have done a few/many times already) and thats OK, I am not perfect, I am human, I am growing, and evolving along side with her…

In the meantime I will keep being present creating memories, teaching, and praying to my heavenly father and Mother Mary for guidance, wisdom, and help. I will keep reminding myself to my focus on what is really important in the end: raising a kind, caring, and loving person rooted in the Lord, whether she gets a few C’s along the way, her letters are crooked, needs to use her fingers to count, depends on calculator for math, falls in a few wholes and runs into some posts as she walks this path we call life, thats ok, we will love her and be proud of her no matter what.

Luz

I’m trying to keep this pyramid in mind when it comes to the way I show up as a mother and parent, I’m sharing it here for other parents too.

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