Beyond the Garden Gate

With this I say good bye for the Holidays to social media but the blog will remain active I want evidence of a Holiday well lived and when I am 90 I will be celebrating : - not because I had a spotless house each day but the beautiful mess I made while living -it wont be because I looked perfect & my hair was beautifully done but because I rolled down the windows, felt the cold air in my face & sang out loud to christmas music -it wont be because I hustled and logged long hours of work but because I had countless hours laughing with friends & family -it wont be because I crossed off all my to do lists or did more in a day than a normal person could do in a week but because I took time to look at a leaf, stare at the stars, sipped hot cocoa, held my child's hand & slowly walked wit her intead of rushing around. -it won't be because o the degrees decorating my wall but because I followed my heart, passions, & the longing of my soul -it wont be because I worrie...

Thanksgiving is comming up and is a day where we are meant to focus on all the things we are grateful for and sometimes we end up showing up with a list of complaints rather than gratitudes. I know because have been on both sides of the coin.  When I struggle to be grateful it's not that I don't have anything to be grateful for but it's more like I have not diagnosed my heart for discontent, fear, anxiety and all the things that could be clouding my heart, weigh me down and keeping me from seing my blessings...in those moments I make it a habit to 1- I label and name it, what ever it is that is driving me to be ungrateful and clowding my vision. That way instead of letting it consume me once I name it I can ask God for help to see his goodness woven into the tapestry of my life. 2- I grab a journal and make a list of all my answered prayers, all that He has given me and it helps me refocus. 3- I start thanking God in advance for the blessings he Will be giving me instead of...

With #thanksgiving right around the corner I wanted to share with you this tip: focus on the 3 D of life... Delete, Delegate, or Delight... what is important is to enjoy your family, everyone being together and not be a stressed out basket case cranky and snappy (yup me yesterday... see I still struggle too)  DELETE: dont feel guilty that you decided to bake just 1 pie not 3 types of pies or that you are simplifying the holidays and not doing what your parents did or inlaws do... its ok  DELEGATE: hate to break it to you but you are not an island of your own or have to be super woman (yes I struggle with this too) you can ask people to bring sides, you can serve in paper plates, you can buy your mashed potatoes from a box, or buy the turkey already cooked, or splurge and hire someone to clean your house, have the kids wash the dishes... take some of the weight off your shoulders, its ok, your sanity is more important...  DELIGHT: yup there are some instanc...

We all have a painful story in our lives. Some of us might have a really painful story and some might have ones that in comparison are not as bad, some have one and some have many. But that’s beside the point, because no matter the degree of the experience the common thing is that we have all felt incredible pain, and sometimes resentment and anger from it. The thing is we have been shackled to that pain for I don’t know how many years, being prisoners of the experience, re-living the pain and anger every time those memories pop up or get triggered. But what I have learned is that we have the power to choose either to keep being a victim to the painful story or letting it empower us into becoming the heroes, and yes it is a choice.   I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, because I have been there believe it or not, I have many stories of many “degrees” of pain from miscarriages, to bullying, rejection, abuse, and more. What I realized is when the memory pops up I can eithe...

With the Holidays around the corner we will be very tempted to compare ourselves with others specially on social media, yes I know because I am already finding myself falling into that trap while looking at pretty pictures of houses decorated for holidays, amazing meals beautifully prepared, etc.  I need to remind myself: guess what? your life and path is not the same as other people's and what you see in social media is just a tiny well manicured glimpse into their lives.  We are all human, we all struggle, make mistakes, have bad days, kids flip out in really embarrassing ways,  houses look like tornadoes went through, and thats ok, its life... sometimes we forget that to make pretty magazine like pictures theres an army of people behind the scenes with special lighting and cameras  and makeup people -or- they only share the pictures where the angle was flattering and are standing in a way that hides the mama pouch (yup i know, I have done both).  ...

As a CBT practitioner I have learned that what we resist persists. We as humans don't like suffering but the only way out of the tunnel is through.  Yet we try to run from it, go around it, under it, over it... but not through it because it means we have to FEEL and we don't like being uncomfortable. But guess what? in the long run we end suffering soooo much more because by trying to avoid feeling our feelings and "suffering" we end up over eatting (yup I gained 10lbs in October because of it), over shopping, drinking, panic attacks, etc.  This totally resonated with me in RCIA yesterday because we talked about the Paschal Mysteries, the suffering-death-resurrection of Christ. And how if we live life fully we will run into suffering-death-resurrection  as well. We have to embrace "suffering" feeling our feelings and discomfort, "die to ourselves" by going through the tunnel, and putting ourselves at the foot of the cross in prayer so we ca...

I would like to invite you to join me in being *the one*. My mother always said "if you have nothing nice to say dont say anything at all" well I disagree with that, I believe "you should be the person who always thinks of a kind thing to say". Your kind words may be something that person may carry in their heart for ever and it may even change their lives.  Go out of your way to think and say something kind to those people who look insecure, uncomfortable and left out; they are easy to spot, they are the ones who look sad or sometimes a little angy, when you do you will see their relief on face.  I think there is no job more important than that of being kind. BE THE ONE *be the one who thinks of a nice thing to say *be the one who shows up when no one else does  *be the one who extends and invite and welcomes someone from outside the circle *be the one who imitates Christ and follows his commandment to love one another (no matter if th ey behave...