Beyond the Garden Gate

My collection of journals sit next to my side of the bed reminding me not only of how muchI have grown but of the faithfulness of God... each represents a season, some journals close with tears, some with a flood of relief, some with immeasurable joy, yet ready for a new chapter of life to begin. Some have filled up quickly and others have taken months to be filled. I love looking at them, seing the dates and digging in to the stories, words, prayers, and art/pictures they hold. I love to see how God is always constant, no matter what was going on in my life at the moment, even when I have felt my world shattering He has held me together. I can see His answered prayers, even when they seemed impossible or answered in a different way than I was expecting yet He still shows me nothing is impossible for God and I can see how everything- every circumstance- is woven together so beautifully for His glory reminding me to trust in Him, that He is always taking care of me, no matter what. Lucy...

Early this morning while the little one slept I read a quote that said "what has been the most beautiful place you have been to?" And the it was amazing how the answer just came to me quick without thinking: our home. I have been blessed to have traveled to numerous countries, cities, states; I have seen from deserts, rainforests, snowy mountains, to paradise beaches yet the most beautiful place I have ever been is our home. Our tinny oddly distributed apartment, with giant windows that let in a stream of natural light, the carpet covered with crumbs, toys and baby slobber from crawling babies (not only ours but our friends too), the small kitchen where we bump each other but serves as a place to pour our love over the food we cook and share with our loved ones, the constant dishwasher running and plates in the sink showcasing the blessings and joy shared around the table, the  drool/popsicle/markers/sticky hands stained couch where we sit to read books and welcome loved ones...

If I could give my younger self advise it would be: "its ok to be different, dare to be an original, be secure in who God made you to be and be the best you can be. Don't let people pressure you, convince you to put aside your values, or make you feel bad about yourself because you don't fit in their mold or image of who they think you should be. You don't have to look or act like everyone else. God has given each person different gifts, talents, and personalities on purpose and for a purpose. You were created to be YOU and be confident in who you are. It's OK to be YOU! God made you that way on purpose"  Ufff that would have saved me a lot of trouble, heart aches, and mistakes/bruises a long the way. BUT I would not be where I am today mentally, spiritually, emotionally, and fiscally if I hadn't learned from those lessons... I Don't regret my past, I see it with compassion and appreciation as the great teacher it was and is. We all have a path to walk...

When you remain alert of your thought and question all the stressful ones - those that cause all the anger, sadness, frustration-  they loose all their power over us and our lives! Our thoughts affect our emotions, we will feel exactly as we think and how we feel dictates our actions. Just because a stressful or negative thoughts pops up doesn't mean we have to hang on to it, water it, nurture it, coddle it, and help it grow. You get to choose what you think of and focus on. It takes hard work at the beginning, it's like a muscle we have to grow, and it will feel unconfortable because our body gets used- addicted- to the chemicals those thoughts cause our brain to release, but remember the only person that has the power to improve your life, feelings, and behaviours is you!  Obviously we can't live in denial, ignore our problems, or act like nothing bad ever happens to us, that is unrealistic. Tough times come to all of us, there's nothing we can do about that, but we c...

I make it a point to have my little one see me journaling, specially in the mornings, she gets to learn a powerful life skill, one that helped her mommy get off a high dose of heart medicine that doctors were sure she would need and in higher doses for her rest of her life, a tool that gave mommy her peace, joy, freedom and life back. When you journal you write what you love, what you hate, what's in your head, what's important, what you want to create, how you want to show up in your day/life, the future, and your gratitudes.  It helps organize your thoughts, it allows you to see things in a concrete way that otherwise you might not see, zoom out and see different angles of the situation, you realize what is important and what it's not.  It's an amazing tool to re-center/ re-calibrate, to get out of fear and back into love, to unburden our brains,  release layers that need to be healed, to grow, to connect back to that higher power and that inner guiding system we ha...

Yesterday during my morning journaling I was exploring how I was in need of a break, my soul was begging for connection, motherhood even though it is  satisfying it can be draining and I was looking forward to a mom's night out.  And then life happened, I drove around delivering flowers, playdate at the splash pad, drove over an hour for an ER dentist visit to fix a broken tooth, and when I got home all I wanted to do was plop on the couch and space out on my phone.  But thanks to my years of inner growth I realized that would have been what I call a "faux pleasure" - some thing that feels good in the moment, going with our mood, but is not necessarily good for us or truly satisfying in the end, and leaves us feeling guilty and blah ( like when I eat the whole pack of oreos, feels good in the moment but not so much after) instead of a "true pleasure"- when we follow up on what our soul is really asking for, what is good for us, what will truly satisfy (most time...

A peek inside my journal today... this page is a little pep talk after I wrote down all the things that are making me anxious and realizing how most of them I have no control over, so they have been placed in God's list now.  This year is deffinitelly a year of growth for me, one giant "Holy Assignment" (like I like to call tough situations God places in our lives for us to grow) where I am being stretched in unimaginable ways, sending me on my knees over and over as it reminds me to surrender and trust... "Be still and know that I am God"  psalm 46:10 I remind myself that Being still isn't about relaxing, it's about resting our anxious hearts.  It means to let go, relax our grip, let that some thing fall of our hands, to let go of our plans and embrace His, trust He will hold us through it all I can relax my white-knuckled grip, need to control, wanting to do it my own way, relaying on my own strenth, and lay my burdens at the foot of the cross, to trus...