Lavender Dreams

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Last night’s “Aha moment”

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  Last night a reader’s comment was really getting under my skin but I tried letting it go and going to bed. About what seemed like an eternity, probably 10 mins, I decided to pray and hand it over to our heavenly father. As I prayed I said “I surrender this thoughts and feelings and issue to you, please take them so I can sleep”. Not much time later I could see in my mind this image of what I imagine Jesus looks like smiling and almost laughing but with a kind face (that one a super loving patient parent would give it’s little toddler) and saying “ok, I’ll take it but you have to actually open your hands and give it to me” and I saw myself there standing in front of Him clenching something in my hands so tight they looked like fists. I opened my eyes and started laughing! That was so spot on! how many times do we surrender something to God only to keep holding on to it and marinating in it? it’s like: here take it but I’m not letting you take it because I don’t want to let go but ...
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Spiced Apple Muffins and some emotional baking…

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Today I had a bit of an emotional meltdown… sigh… we drove by aunt R. to drop off the kiddos. It is so hard when loved ones are sick and we are faced to wrestle with the big questions... why them? why her? why like this? such a holy and loving person. So, naturally that triggered me thinking of my actual sister “Tia Lety” who’s in heaven since January ( something we were not prepared for and was totally unexpected…) Both thoughts going round and round in my head sent me on a baking spiral. I noticed I anxious clean and emotional bake, who knew?! Fascinating… not sure it was the best thing to do in my surgical recovery, journaling might have been a better idea, but oh well… we have lots of muffins in the freezer now. I took out the bag of frozen apples our friend from  tea with toddlers  gave us a while back and you helped me turned this apple spice cake recipe into muffins. I like doing these types of cakes in  muffin tins  because it makes it easier to just plop one...
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Home blessings

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We are still surrounded by smoke, in a state of tension, watching as the fires take out our towns and beautiful state, seeing the ashes fall like snow out our windows, praying for an end to this (and to 2020 let’s be honest lol) So decided there is not better way to spend our Sunday than than with family. It is funny the faces people make when I say my favorite part of hosting people at our home for meals is the clean up after and I actually mean it. There is something so rewarding about tending to my home after. I call it blessings the house, it’s almost a type of meditative process where I cherish every single aspect of our time together and our blessings, where I bask in the goodness of God, and fill the time with silent Thanksgiving. I savor the slow actions of * rinsing of the plates, the warm water splashing my hands, the traces of food and reminders of full bellies * putting left overs and ingredientes lovingly in the fridge as I plan on ways to be a good steward and using them ...
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